Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The dreaded post

So I am have been dreading this post for awhile because I sure don't want to offend anyone and I don't know what life will look like once we are back home, but most adoptive families post some sort of boundary post so here is mine:)

Children who have lived in an institution (or wo a mama and daddy) will need some time to attach. Chloe may look like she is doing wonderful in pictures and she is, but she is not yet attached to us. She will let anyone hold her and doesn't worry about us quite yet. We will probably not let her out of our sight for weeks and will probably not offer for others to hold her. This is just for a short time until she sees us as the mama and baba...the meeter of all her needs. We will also be the only ones to feed her for the short term. We need her to know that we aren't just nannies and are her forever family. This may takes weeks or it may take months. Some families "cocoon" for three months or so (limiting visitors and outings) until security is achieved. We don't know what this will look like for our family, but do know that it is going to take some time to adjust to the crazy time change, life as a family of 5, and making up for some lost time with our boys! 

I am not saying we don't want to see you...we do...just please call first and also know I probably won't be handing her over for snuggles quite yet. Also, I will likely not be much of a good friend...I know life will be crazy and not able to come to things or return calls...please keep inviting me and calling. I have known since we started this process we would make a lot of sacrifices to be where we are now and I am prepared for those, but I know I will still need encouragement even if it is not reciprocated on my end. 

You all have been so wonderful through all of this. Your prayers, excitement, love, kindness, encouraging words have been a source of strength through this journey! Thank you for loving us and understanding as we navigate through the new waters of attachment. 

Worth it all!!!!


  1. Katie: Do no consider this post dreaded! You need to set the groundrules. This is all new to a lot of the people in your life and I consider this being a Super Mama and Baba! You would certainly have ground rules for your new infant coming home from the hospital. Warmest wishes and God's traveling graces to all of you. Love from ALLLLL the Hurner family! Thanks for being so diligent with the posts. Mom and I have thoroughly enjoyed your journey!!!!

  2. As an adoptive mother of two....this is the best thing you can do for your girl. Do this AS LONG AS YOU FEEL IT IS NECESSARY. The important people in your life will understand and those that don't....don't get it. This precious girl has been through a lot and needs to attach at her own rate. Congrats on your beautiful addition to your family.