Sunday, May 17, 2015

Dear Chloe...on your third birthday

Dear Chloe,
Today you turn three which means you have celebrated more birthdays with us than without. You have waited for this day to arrive for weeks stating each day "Rae Rae's birthday...not you Gavin...not you Ethan!" 

Your year on the road to three has been filled with many milestones. You have developed quite the little personality. Though I worried, you have fully mastered the art of expression. All day, every day you talk to us in sentences that contain many, many words. You tell us what you like and what you don't bargain and plead to get your have even added stomping your foot in with your protests. I am so proud of all the progress (minus the foot stomps) you have made and how you, most days, willingly go to another therapy. Communication is a that you have now mastered.

You love to swim and this year you have definitely been able to conquer the pool. Ms. Heidi, your swim instructor, says you will never do your swim by the book, because that's just you...definitely not by the book. You swim your own way and then float at the very last second just when I am about to jump in to save you. You aren't afraid of the water at all and manage to keep up with your brothers in the pool.

You are strong, yet sensitive. You love animals and pretend you are a baby turtle each morning when you wake up. The blanket "aka lettuce" as you call it in your mouth as you slowly crawl to the table for breakfast always makes me laugh. Your imagination and ability to pretend has blossomed so much this past year. It excites me so much to see you pretend and play. This is something that hasn't come naturally to you.

You know you are from China and point it out anytime you see the shape of the country. You always say "me lived there" and I say and who came to get you and you say "mommy did."

If there is only one thing I am able to teach you it is to Love God. Love Him above all else. Your daddy and I cling to John 6:27 in which Jesus tells us "Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that ensures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you." "This is the work of God, that you will believe in Him whom He has sent." 

I am always amazed at your courage and resilience. You have been through so much in your short little life. Most days, as I rock you, I try to imagine your first year of life...the year you spent without us. I try to imagine those first days...your birth mother, what she looked like, her circumstances, her choices. I imagine your days in your first home and then in the orphanage. I don't know the answers to any of my questions...but I know this...your birth mother was brave. And I know she loved have her eyes, her hair, and your resilience and courage comes from her. I know today, your third birthday, is so very hard for her. I know as we celebrate today her heart aches. I know she wonders where you are and if you are loved...just as I imagine her...she imagines you. Two mothers, who both celebrate your birth on opposite ends of the earth. 

People sometimes say you are lucky. I am the lucky one. You have taught me more in the short two years I have been your mommy than in all of my life. You have taught me that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.You have taught me biology is the least about what makes a mother. You have showed me life isn't about your's how you chose to overcome.

I love you my beautiful daughter. Thankful doesn't seem adequate to describe my feelings on this day...the day of your birth. I cannot imagine our life without you in it.Happy, happy third birthday precious one! 

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