Hard is just Hard

Eleven months ago...some days it feels like its been 11 months...other days I feel like we were just in China last week. This time last year I was taking a break from work, aching for travel approval, and frantically and emotionally preparing the leave for China. If I am being honest, these last months have been the most difficult, yet rewarding, ever. My friend Kristy recently wrote a post called Simple Truth: When Hard Isn't Easy! I keep going back to her post because I so can relate and I am sure so many of you can as well. Our "hards" all look different...Kristy is a foster mama and has 4 biological children...me, I am an adoptive mama, but maybe the "hard" is infertility, maybe it's loss of a job, cancer,  maybe it's moving when you are perfectly content right where you are. 

Hard is just, well, it's just hard. -Kristy Sutton

We don't often choose hard in this life. We choose comfort, ease and familiarity. But the things worth doing here will most likely carry us away from convenience. -Kristy Sutton 

So our family has decided to choose hard alongside Kristy and so many others. 

Here's what it means for us....

Hard means we chase around a toddler hours each day who doesn't know how to play or attend to an activity. It means we give up a lot of things and friendships because our lives are filled with doctors and therapies. It means oral motor exercises, brushing protocols, massage, and feeling like you never can do enough. Hard means spending less time with our boys and feeling pulled in 5 million directions. It means cleaning up food, bowls, and toys that are thrown countless times a day because our little one can't seem to self regulate. Hard means less money in our bank account. It means night terrors and frustration. Hard means not being the best husband or wife because there is no energy left at the end of the day.

and here's where it gets beautiful...

Hard also means watching a child grow and change and blossom right before your eyes. It means finding joy in little things like watching your daughter pretend play for the first time ever. Hard means an abandoned baby will never know what's it like to wake up alone another day. Hard means eyes that were filled with despair are now filled with light. It means huge applause when your child uses a word instead of a cry. Hard is a face where there was once no expression, but is now filled with huge smiles and belly laughs. Hard means thinking every single day about the mother who gave up her special needs child to live!

so when you say to me, I could never do what you do...its too hard, I know what you mean. really. I do. But I know what you don't know...and probably never will. Hard isn't easy, but its beautiful. -Kristy Sutton