Our DAUGHTER!!!!!

Referral

Last Wednesday night (March 13), God revealed His promise. A precious, precious little girl. She is all the we have hoped and dreamed of!! I can't give many details publicly yet, but wanted to document our referral story so I never forget.

I was picking up my friend Tracy for a Life Group bday dinner (for me) when the phone rang...CCAI Denver, CO. I have wondered for weeks when people say it will happen when I least expect it how that could possible be when it was all I ever thought about. Needless to say, it was 6:15 p.m. our time so I certainly wasn't thinking about CCAI (atleast for that moment). The social worker from waiting child prefaced the phone call that she wouldn't even have called me about this little girl had I not emailed her earlier that day (inquiring about our timeline). For some reason my MCC (medical need checklist) had indicated some specific requests (that I don't think I ever wrote or stated) that this baby did not meet. However, as the social worker began to talk....I just knew. She was EXACTLY what we have been praying for. I told her to send me the file and thank you for calling even though my MCC didn't match up. We went on to our Life Group dinner...yes, I was going insane thinking about my daughter in my inbox!!! The girls at Life Group knew and we quickly ate and they sent me along. When I got home, Nick and I prayed and opened the file and it was an instant yes!! This time there wasn't anything questionable (though there is always risk in adoption). I emailed the files to both our peditrician and our International Adoption Dr. in Cincinatti. Dr. Lacy called the very next morning to give his blessing. That afternoon I had a phone conference with the IA dr. who seemed very optimistic. She was slightly concerned about her measurements and asked us to get an update. We did get an update yesterday from China, but did not wait for the update to submit our Letter of Intent to Adopt. So on Sunday, March 17, 2013, we took all the necessary initial steps to make Baby Girl ours!

I can't begin to adequately express the emotions I am feeling. I have been sick so it is hard to feel too celebratory, but there is peace! There is absolutely no question that this is the little girl God has planned for us! We have a daughter and a sister...our hearts our overflowing with thanks to the One who created her. She is ours and we are hers...coming for you Baby Girl!!

"Waiting Place"

This has been A TOUGH WEEK!!!!!My friend Nat asked me last night why this week was different than the others and I am not sure. I do know for some reason I woke up Monday morning thinking this would be our week. It wasn't! Plus another friend got another file to review and it wasn't the one...we both agree it will be a "freakin" (yes, I know that doesn't sound the nicest) miracle when one of us gets matched. I am sad for her because I guess we both just thought our next files would be our girls (love you, MO). I am reading this book called Waiting on God by Cherie Hill and quickly turned to this page. The highlighted paragraph needs to be my focus...I need to mediate on it...and pray about this "waiting place" like a million times a day. And I have vowed to do that every time I hope the phone will ring (which is like a million times a day).

Losing Sight

I have recently felt very convicted that my focus has been on the wrong things (facebook, timelines, blogs). I have also spent lots and lots of time worrying about my circumstances; mainly my little girl on the other side of the world who we have yet to "meet". I have felt some nudging that I should put aside some of the distractions and spend more time in the Word and in prayer. These verses have been on my heart-

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.  9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you." (NIV) Phillipians 4:6-9

And so today I was obedient...and here is what my devotion from Jesus Calling was today!!!!!!!

 Oh, Lord, thank you for putting me in my place!!! I am so thankful for your grace and that you never give up on me!!!!

God Are You Nice Or Mean?

I am reading this book God Are You Nice Or Mean? Trusting God...After the Orphanage by Debra Delulio. It is such a great book about being in the trenches with kids from extremely "hard places" and God's sovereignty through it all. I have to be honest...today I am asking God the same question...are you nice or mean? But this time about our first referral that we sadly said no to just after NYE. I fell hard for her...very hard and have been praying for her to find a family ever since the day we tearfully had to decline her file. Yesterday, I found out she is now listed on our agency website...which means no other family has said "yes" either and the agency is hoping someone will see her and become interested. It makes me second guess our decision and scour the research on her condition just to see if I missed something. Why did I ever see her? Why is she still without a family? I just don't understand why children have to suffer? I just don't understand why our MIGHTY God can't come down and scoop little P up and all the 130 plus million children without a family as well. God are you nice or mean? Today is one of those days I don't understand but trust in His promises anyway (Romans 8:28). I am a believing He hears my prayers...for P to find a family and and how we can help her. One of my favorite songs is playing as I write, You Are I Am by Mercy Me. Thanks God for the gentle reminder that You're the one who conquers giants, You're the one who calls out kings, You shut the mouths of lions, You tell the dead to breathe, You're the one who walks through fire, You take the orphan's hand, You are the one Messiah, You are I am, You are I am.
**I know nothing about advocating for a child like some of my other adoption fb friends, but if anyone reads this that knows someone who might be interested in more information about little P send them to www.ccaifamily.org and select waiting children. She is apart of the special focus group which means anyone, even without a dossier in China, is eligible to adopt her or any of the other special focus children listed.

The Weight of Saying "No"

The Forgotten Blog: Forgotten Fridays: The Weight of Saying "No": Today, I am a foster mom who is overwhelmed; brought to tears and on my knees in prayer.  I have spit-up on my sweater; I haven't gotten a f...

Another "no"

This past Tuesday we got another call from my favorite phone number...CCAI Denver, CO. This time was different than last...I was prepared for heartbreak, but also trying to be optimistic. I guess my heart was just really guarded. I still think of our first referral often. I am not going to say much about this second referral here, but I did want to document it because it is definitely another step in this journey. I hope to look back one day and know all the ups and downs were worth it. Long story short, this little girl was also not right for our family. Saying "no" stinks...it just really, really stinks. My heart hurts...BUT despite the hurt today we will celebrate the Chinese New Year and our little girl who is still in China. I am praying HER file finds her way to our agency and that this is her last New Year in China. My friend, Karen, without knowing any of this cheered me up in the best way possible. She brought us all the fixings to create the perfect New Year's celebration right here at home. So tonight, it's a New Year in the country where my daughter lives...we will celebrate even if our hearts hurt.