Losing Sight

I have recently felt very convicted that my focus has been on the wrong things (facebook, timelines, blogs). I have also spent lots and lots of time worrying about my circumstances; mainly my little girl on the other side of the world who we have yet to "meet". I have felt some nudging that I should put aside some of the distractions and spend more time in the Word and in prayer. These verses have been on my heart-

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.  9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you." (NIV) Phillipians 4:6-9

And so today I was obedient...and here is what my devotion from Jesus Calling was today!!!!!!!

 Oh, Lord, thank you for putting me in my place!!! I am so thankful for your grace and that you never give up on me!!!!

God Are You Nice Or Mean?

I am reading this book God Are You Nice Or Mean? Trusting God...After the Orphanage by Debra Delulio. It is such a great book about being in the trenches with kids from extremely "hard places" and God's sovereignty through it all. I have to be honest...today I am asking God the same question...are you nice or mean? But this time about our first referral that we sadly said no to just after NYE. I fell hard for her...very hard and have been praying for her to find a family ever since the day we tearfully had to decline her file. Yesterday, I found out she is now listed on our agency website...which means no other family has said "yes" either and the agency is hoping someone will see her and become interested. It makes me second guess our decision and scour the research on her condition just to see if I missed something. Why did I ever see her? Why is she still without a family? I just don't understand why children have to suffer? I just don't understand why our MIGHTY God can't come down and scoop little P up and all the 130 plus million children without a family as well. God are you nice or mean? Today is one of those days I don't understand but trust in His promises anyway (Romans 8:28). I am a believing He hears my prayers...for P to find a family and and how we can help her. One of my favorite songs is playing as I write, You Are I Am by Mercy Me. Thanks God for the gentle reminder that You're the one who conquers giants, You're the one who calls out kings, You shut the mouths of lions, You tell the dead to breathe, You're the one who walks through fire, You take the orphan's hand, You are the one Messiah, You are I am, You are I am.
**I know nothing about advocating for a child like some of my other adoption fb friends, but if anyone reads this that knows someone who might be interested in more information about little P send them to www.ccaifamily.org and select waiting children. She is apart of the special focus group which means anyone, even without a dossier in China, is eligible to adopt her or any of the other special focus children listed.

The Weight of Saying "No"

The Forgotten Blog: Forgotten Fridays: The Weight of Saying "No": Today, I am a foster mom who is overwhelmed; brought to tears and on my knees in prayer.  I have spit-up on my sweater; I haven't gotten a f...

Another "no"

This past Tuesday we got another call from my favorite phone number...CCAI Denver, CO. This time was different than last...I was prepared for heartbreak, but also trying to be optimistic. I guess my heart was just really guarded. I still think of our first referral often. I am not going to say much about this second referral here, but I did want to document it because it is definitely another step in this journey. I hope to look back one day and know all the ups and downs were worth it. Long story short, this little girl was also not right for our family. Saying "no" stinks...it just really, really stinks. My heart hurts...BUT despite the hurt today we will celebrate the Chinese New Year and our little girl who is still in China. I am praying HER file finds her way to our agency and that this is her last New Year in China. My friend, Karen, without knowing any of this cheered me up in the best way possible. She brought us all the fixings to create the perfect New Year's celebration right here at home. So tonight, it's a New Year in the country where my daughter lives...we will celebrate even if our hearts hurt.