In these last days, I have decided that fundraising and asking for support,waiting, planning, asking for help, etc. is MUCH harder than I thought it would be. $25,000.00 seems really unattainable in a years time. Adding to my doubt has been hearing things like why would you adopt if you can't afford it, etc. Fact is, in these last days (and as a result of hearing some of these thoughts) has left me wondering myself. While this battle is raging in my mind God said this to me...Katie, if you would just seek Me with all you have and put me first you need not worry. The fact is, although I still have made time for God it has been the LAST thing on my agenda instead of the first. So being obeident, yesterday and even again last night I spent some real time with the Lord. As I was flipping to John where I was reading about the crucifixion I came across Luke 12:22-34...no coincidence I know. Again, God gave me just what I needed at the perfect time. He said this Katie, do not worry about your life, what you will eat: or about your body, what you will wear (or how you will pay for adoption). Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Then he goes on to tell me Katie, why do you have so little faith? Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink (or how to pay for adoption); do not WORRY about it. But if you, Katie, seek MY Kingdom, all these things will be given to you. Point taken, Lord!
So as if that wasn't enough to knock me of my feet I began reading one of my favorite blogs, No Hands But Ours. I came across a story of a family that had also adopted a SN little girl from China whose plan didn't quite happen as they expected. The mom writing the blog said this which was also EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
*We think that the goal is the purpose, when actually it is sometimes the JOURNEY that is the purpose. The things we learn on the journey are the things He wants to teach us.
I am now convinced more than ever that for us, His plan for us isn't just adoption. It's so much more...it is the JOURNEY...it is the ups and the downs and the seeking Him through it all with total trust...and seeing how He works it all out according to His good purpose!
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My heart pounds faster for you when I read this, Katie. He has called you to this and He will fulfill His call because He is faithful. $25,000 is nothing to Him! 5 or 6 times throughout our 8 years of being on Cru staff, we have had close to that amount given in just a month! If God can do that in one month for us, He can easily do it in one year for you. He is faithful. He cares about you and Nick. And he cares about your little girl in China. Keep your eyes on HIM! And go read my blog post from yesterday. I think it will speak to you as it spoke to me. Love you!
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