One year ago

One year ago our dossier was in China waiting on a log in date!! A huge international adoption milestone. This dawned on me as I sat in a show at Sea World on Saturday while our little girl was dancing, clapping, and acting as if this was a normal, everyday occurrence. It's crazy to think that as we celebrated Halloween last year we were five months away from seeing Chloe's face and today she celebrates with us. On the 15th of October last year I re-posted a post about waiting! Those months were grueling! Some of the most emotional months I have experienced. Today it's just joy...pure joy that this little girl that had her whole world rocked not even four months ago is bebopping with her brothers and friends at Sea World Spooktacular!

Dancing to the drums

Mommy look at the sharks!

More sharks

This time of year it's easy to reflect on how far we have come because we make some many memories. This year Chloe isn't a dream, but a reality, and a very important part of our memories. She got to experience her first fair and pumpkin patch this past weekend as well! 

Try as I might my boys do not love cute attire...and there is no posing for pics:( so we have Chloe dressed all cute and sitting on the hay for pics and well, the boys in some not matching clothes while I take their pics on the run! One day my dream of the three of them cuddling on the haystack surrounded by pumpkins smiling perfectly for a pic will come true!! 

Until then, I was able to capture this shot atleast during forced snuggling in their Halloween pjs:)

 

One year ago we were waiting...today we are thankful!

Well I wrote this whole post earlier today and just a short while later Chloe fell. One thing we have been avoiding for 6 intense weeks! We were all playing in her closet. I was within an inch of her she fell and hit her mouth and nose on a scooter. Blood was pouring and she was screaming and holding her mouth like I have never seen. I called the surgeon in a panic...he was in the operating room and nurse wasn't there. The secretary said she would try and reach him in the OR to see what I should do (reminder-he is in St. Pete and I am panicked in Orlando). While I wait I call our pediatrician. He tells me to go right to Nemours, our hospital here. While I dish out the boys to my wonderful friend, Courtney, the surgeon calls and says to email him pictures of her mouth and not to go to a hospital in Orlando if i can get the bleeding to stop. I am crying and shaking and so is Chloe but I manage a few pics as I am loading the car for a hospital yet to be determined. The surgeon mentions he wants me to come to All Children's...Lord help me!!! It would take me atleast 3 hours to get there in traffic. Within 30 minutes he calls back to say not to worry...she will be ok...I ask him if he is sure because the blood is coming from the inside of her mouth and I couldn't get a photo of that. He assures me it is ok and to come to his office in the morning. I tell him I need Xanax for a year after these last six weeks and this scare. He laughs! The end!! 

I am still thankful, really frazzled, but thankful! 

Transformation

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:24

Celebrating my fearfully and wonderfully made daughter today as we completed our six week surgical journey! Praise God for seeing us through it all. Praise God for her physicians!

Post surgery report

Yesterday we celebrated three months since Gotcha Day with our love. It is so amazing to watch her change and transform. She really does look so different. It has been fun to fall in love with her all over again. So much has changed in the five days post surgery. She is less swollen and beginning to show us her new adorable smile. I can't get over how even the points on the top of her lip line up perfectly. Oh and that nose...cute as a button. She is attempting to imitate most of what we say...I can really tell the tubes have helped her to hear better. Since the Latham device was removed she is also a happier little girl! My dad and I head out tomorrow for her post-op ENT appt. and then to her suture removal Friday morning at All Children's (last time under anesthesia for while). Nick gets to be on dad duty while my mom is away on a much deserved cruise! Thankful my dad can fill in this time. Seriously do not know what I would do without my parents?! Gifts!!!!!

Here is Miss Chloe Rae sleeping on me as I type. Precious one! No more nasal stent and stitches as of Friday! Hooray:)

“God reminded me how beautiful we all are to Him, after all, we were created in His own image, and He looks at me, at you, in all our sweat and dirt and brokenness, and says, "I choose you. You are beautiful.” 

― Katie J. Davis, Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption

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Lip repair

We survived Chloe's third surgery (this one major). She is such a good little girl...very much a trooper. I am so thankful for her team of doctors...especially her plastic surgeon, Dr. Ruas, who is nothing short of amazing! We were reminded last week at a pre-op appt. that we are right where God wants us. Come to find out this dr who love is also from my hometown...his father, also a physician, did a surgery on my dad years ago. Here are some pics of our medical adventures these last 5 weeks. We have one more time under anesthesia next Friday to remove Chloe's stitches and then we will have a break until palate repair in 3 months.

At Dr. Ruas's office

Chloe is quite at home at the Ronald McDonald House

Getting her second band on her Latham device at another one of our favorite drs. Offices, Dr. Feldman. The nurses all stood around in amazement as Chloe laid very still without a tear at the doctor added new bands.

Sleeping in her no no's

Latham progress the Tuesday before her surgery

And on Wednesday

Spending time with Ethan before her big day

On our way to the RMH

Getting checked out prior to surgery

Mommy's clinging to her cross during the almost 5 hour surgery

And the BIG reveal

24 hours of snuggles with mommy

And a few hours w daddy

Getting ready for discharge

While mommy and daddy are away the boys get to play...what we do without PapaEm?!! 

Thank you for for the many prayers (once again). We are just in awe of how God has orchestrated all of this...so incredible thankful we decided to take this step in faith. It has been so neat to watch God move. He has provided in major, big, moving mountains types of ways and simple small ways from our initial step to find Chloe and through this medical journey! If I have learned one thing through special needs adoption (besides that it rocks) is that the one sure way to know God is to trust Him in BiG ways. I reflect back to the verse that initiated all of this...

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what is says. James 1:22 

Then later in verse 24 it basically says that if we do the will of God we will be blessed in what we do. Serious TRUTH!!!

Video for our girl

During Chloe's 5 hour surgery yesterday I finally had a chance to create this video I have been wanting to make for awhile now. It's missing a few special pictures from my camera, but I will have to add those later!! Wanted to share...as you can see I was kind of reflecting on our time with Chloe pre-lip repair while I waited for her to come out of her long surgery. I also can't wait to add some post repair pictures once she is all healed up. The video is long...I am thinking maybe I might be the only one to watch 11 minutes of my family, but just in case your interested see below.

http://web.photodex.com/view/d9db6km4/?watch-d9db6km4

Happiness!

Thought I would do a quick post tonight because I probably won't have much time in the coming weeks as Chloe starts surgery number two this Friday. The first was a success and we anticipate the next to go smoothly as well, but it will definitely be more painful! And require more hospital time...after Friday I will be excited to say we will be down two with only two to go!!!  Sending off any child for a surgery before anesthesia it heart breaking, but with a child that has lived Chloe's life before a family it is gut wrenching. I never ever want her to think we will ever leave her! My brain knows this is all necessary but my heart says turn around and go home.

On a happy note, we celebrated two months since Gotcha on the first of the month! Our sweet pea is just thriving! The more I love her the more I wonder about her past...like silly things...what was her bath like? Did she have toys? Did she drink the tub water like she does now? What did she do all day?? Did she really spend time out of her crib? How long was she in her crib each day??? Did she smile and laugh? Questions I will never know the answers too...I can only infer from the few photos I have from her life before us.

While not sleeping last night (couldn't shut my mind off surgery tomorrow) I re-watched her Gotcha Day video....that will be one video I will never watch without crying. We have come so far in such a short time! The child that was transferred so quicky in our arms on July 1 is no longer. Gone is the face w no expression, gone is the pale skin, gone is the girl who looked at toy with no clue what to so a it, gone is the girl who had no idea how to eat anything other than bottles with formula.  Our little girl is alive and active...she loves and crys and reachs for her mama and baba to hold her. She plays peek a boo, waves, blows kisses, says "hi", eats anything in sight, and plays! She is the light of all of our lives!! Praise God for July 1st and for adoption!!!

Adoption plus love = 

Happiness 

For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Psalms 92:4

Surgeries, surgeries, surgeries!

And so it begins this part of adopting a child with special needs that every mama dreads! Surgery:(!!! In Chloe's case it will be 4 (possibly 5). Over the next six weeks we are scheduled almost weekly to be at All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg, FL. Some are "easier" procedures and some "major", but all require anesthesia. So that makes them all "major" for a mama! Our first surgical procedure will take place next Friday!!!  

I feel guilty to ask for more prayers, but I have learned the importance of prayer during this journey. So I ask again will you pray for our family as we begin our medical road to helping Chloe:)