Christmas

Joy is having all you've ever wanted before you open a single gift.

What a joyous day we had! It wasn't the gifts, but the givers, who made the day so wonderful! Chloe, Gavin, and Nick slept in late (7:30 am). We finally had to wake Chloe and daddy up! The boys were thrilled that Santa had come. Chloe just wanted her breakfast. We spent hours that morning exchanging gifts and enjoying watching the boys give out presents and open some too. Ethan didn't care if they were his...he loved opening this year. In fact, I never got to my own stocking so Ethan opened it all for me this morning. Chloe didn't care much about any of the great toys she got, but loved being in the mix and playing with the boxes. Honestly, this Christmas was hard...there wasn't much sitting and relaxing or drinking egg nog (yuck...wine is more like it) by the fire. It been a crazy, stressful whirlwind of six months with China, adoption, busy child number three, surgeries, and constant supervision. I am tired! Really tired! But as I reflect back on this past year (and even years past) I am constantly reminded that this is right where I am supposed to be. Two years ago all I wanted for Christmas was for Nick to say yes to adoption. I LONGED for that Christmas Day and was hugely and tearfully disappointed when a yes never came (atleast not that Christmas). Last Christmas, I longed to know our daughter as we waited anxiously for a referral phone call. This Christmas, our precious daughter celebrated with us in the same place I ached for her. There really will never be a better gift of watching my three children love Jesus, love others, and love Christmas. I may be tired, but I sure am happy! 

Palate Day

Tomorrow is a big day. Chloe's palate will be repaired. From what I understand, this will be a more major surgery than the lip, gum, and nose. Basically, Chloe has a hole in the roof of her mouth from the front of her mouth through the gum(which is now repaired) all the way back to the soft palate.

 The palate is big for feeding and speech. So far she has managed to feed herself quite well with an open hole to her nasal cavity, but speech hasn't (and can't) come along much without the repair. I am not looking forward to putting our baby though any more surgeries, but feeling very good about having these behind us for awhile. It will be an intense month with 100 percent supervision (anything in the mouth could ruin the repair) and a liquid/soft diet (which she will despise), but we will go into the new year with out surgeries looming over us. I will post throughout the day tomorrow, but our immediate prayer needs are that she would stay well through tomorrow, for travel to St Pete today, the boys who will be spending time with Em,  and for Chloe as she won't be able to eat or drink and we have a fairly late surgery call tomorrow. 

As always, thanks for loving us...Chloe is my hero! I still often  just look at her and admire her strength and resilience! 

Adoption Announcement

Almost five months after her arrival I finally sent out adoption announcements. I adore them and when you compare to our Christmas card which also went out in the mailing it seems unbelievable that its the same little girl. She has grown and changed so much. We are frantically preparing for her last surgery of the year on the 16th...I have to have Christmas done before we leave:( It made me very happy to get our cards out in the mail and off my list. Now off to prepare for my staff Christmas brunch at my house...oh the things I get myself into:)

Happy Friday!

Five Months together

Five months ago today I was waking up at the Crowne Plaza in Zhengzhou, Henan, China for what would be the most memorable day of my life. It was a quiet morning filled with nerves until our bus pulled up at the Civil Affairs office! The nerves continued, but it was not calm or quiet. We watched as many families met their babies within seconds of arriving. There were lots of tears from the babies and even the parents. Our little Xue Jian was one of the last to arrive (almost 1.5 hours after we arrived at the office). I will never ever forget her SUV pulling up and the ladies from her orphanage walking her in. They walked right past me with her and I could barely catch my breath. This moment I had dreamed of for sooooo many years was happening and it was more magical than I could have ever imagined. Side note-I would pick Gotcha Day over giving birth any day! The orphanage director handed her over and we fell in love right then and there. I won't lie it hasn't been flowers and roses but one thing has been constant we LOVE our little Xue Jian now known as Chloe Rae to pieces. Each day, if its possible, our bond grows...we could not imagine our life without her! Happy Gotcha Day baby girl!

A Heart of Thanksgiving

I have been mentally planning a "thankful" post for a week or so, but never got around to it. I am so glad I waited because our pastor preached a great sermon which changed my perspective on thankfulness. 

One of the key points that hit home on Sunday was that it is easy to give thanks for all that is good in our lives, but do we stop to give thanks even in the deepest of pits? This year, our family has many good things to be thankful for, but have we chosen to give thanks through the trials? Before we left for China my aunt got some really tough news...probably the toughest kind one can get-cancer...no cure. My aunt Ila didn't hear the sermon I did on Sunday and for the months since her diagnosis she has chosen to praise our Lord! She chooses to see joy even in the pit! What a witness to believers and especially to unbelievers.

So after reflecting on our sermon and thinking about Ila I changed to regular tune of my praises...you know the kind like I am thankful for my home, God, family, etc. Of course, we are all thankful for these good gifts, but those are easy...I am choosing a more reflective way of giving thanks this year.

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...

I am thankful for a burden for orphans. Praise God he broke my heart for what breaks His.

I chose to be thankful for Chloe's past-even her first days which where the most traumatic of her little life-God knew she would end up a daughter.

I am thankful her birth mother made one of the hardest decisions of her life. 

I am thankful for our country...and drinking water (and toilets  that aren't holes in the ground)....and hospitals and medicine. And that we can provide surgeries and therapies for Chloe she would have never received in her birth country.

I am thankful we went through two referrals and saw the faces of two precious children who we ultimately said no to. Those days were not easy, and I still think about those sweet faces, but those "no's" led us to Chloe.

I am thankful that my boys love, love, love their sister even though their lives have changed incredibly since we came home from China.

I am thankful we can use this experience to mold their hearts for the things of God. 

I am thankful of Chloe's special needs. I don't think I have openly said here for fear of judgement, but cleft palate and lip is not easy. In fact, many times in grad school I closed my craniofacial abnormalities book and said silent prayers that I would never have a child with those needs. God was probably chuckling. My sweet girl's needs are many, but being a mother now of a child with special needs has given me greater compassion for children who I see for therapy and their devoted parents.

I am thankful for a surgery right before Christmas because I will have help to care for her over the holidays with Nick being off (have really had to chose to be thankful for this one because let me tell you I am not excited to be staying in the hospital the week before Christmas and to miss so many fun events)

I am thankful for my "net" and that I still have friends after not being one of the best these last five months. 

I am thankful for a husband who "gets" that this life isn't about us. And chose to take a huge step of faith in this crazy mission.

I am thankful for my parents and ALL of their help-17 days (or as my dad puffs 20 days) with the boys when we were in China. And then all staying with them through all Chloe's surgeries. My cup runneth over!

I am thankful that every prayer on this card was answered-

I am thankful for adoption-without it our family wouldn't be complete! I am thankful for how much adopting has taught me about God's love for us.

I am thankful for the adoption community and all my friends who have a heart for orphans near and far!

I am thankful for our Pastor who changed my perspective on thankfulness and for my aunt who lives our a heart of thanksgiving even in a pit.

I am thankful this crib is empty and this chair is filled this Thanksgiving!

Give thanks to The Lord for His love endures forever...

18 MONTHS old!!

What a happy day! Chloe is 18 months old!!! When we first held her in our arms she was just over 13 months old and today we celebrate 1.5 years of life! Do any of you watch Guilliana and Bill?? I love the episode where G tells Bill that they need to figure out plans for Duke's six month birthday....Bill is appalled:) I am with Guilliana....sure wish we were having a big bash for this special day considering Chloe didn't get a first bday party with her family.Although we did send cake and other goodies to her orphanage. 

Since there is no 18 month bash here are some current stats about our girl!

She signs "eat" 500 times a day and would probably really eat all those times if we let her.

She can sign drink, out, more, all done:)

She says mama but its not intentional yet.

Chloe loves macaroni and cheese or any pasta

As of yesterday, her days of infant formula are done!!! The budget is happy!!

She has speech therapy once a week (soon to be three since her mommy can take advantage of a company full of slps) and is working on attending to an activity, appropriate play, and oral motor activities. She doesn't love speech therapy much to her mommy's dismay.

She LOVES music and dances like no ones business!

She loves the water! Puts her face in and doesn't mind a bit!

She knows and loves her immediate family and is very attached to us!

Her wardrobe is uh-mazing thanks for so many well dressed friends! She still doesn't like hair bows though! Mommy will not give up:)

She never, ever sits if she is awake. She is on the go and into EVERYthing! The boys mischief when they were little doesn't even compare to their busy sister.

She loves her bed (at home not at Em's) and goes to sleep easily for a nap and for bed!

She loves singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider and does the movements:)

She dislikes the car, but has made a few gains in that area.

She dislikes sleeping at Em's:) This weekend when we went she was up from 11:30-4:00 am...needless to say, mama only stayed one night.

She loves her "baby" Aunt Amy gave her. I put several loveys given to her in her bed and she chose "baby"

She loves riding on Grandaddy's golf cart!

Just a small snapshot of our Chloe on this very special day!! Oh how excited is mama for your second bday...let the party planning begin!!!

Four months Gotchaversary

On 11-1 little Miss Rae Rae (as I have begun call her) had been with us FOUR months! It seems likes years ago that we were in China having our little chunk monk handed over. Oh how I can kiss her face off! And tickle those chunky thighs. I still look back at pictures from our time in China wishing I had taken it all in a little more. The Chloe in China has changed sooo much. Not just her appearance, but everything about her. In China, she slept between Nick and I and didn't make a peep or move. 

Now my wild woman never stops and the thought of her sleeping between us seems comical. I remember our travels to her orphanage and time spent in her room there. Would her nannies even recognize her now? 

I recently went through a gazillion adoption papers to organize. Many had not been touched since we got off the plane, but this mama couldn't look at the enormous pile any longer. So glad my OCD kicked in because I found the baby book the orphanage staff gave us. Such a treasure I have overlooked in the craziness of settling into life as a family of 5 and surgeries. Any mother who has adopted in a country like China where nothing is known about history knows how special it is to have newborn pictures and even hand and foot prints. I love that her orphanage thought ahead to know one day she would have a family and documented her beginnings long before they knew we existed.

I was told this little boy was Chloe's best friend

My precious baby was so tiny. I don't know what she weighed when she was born or her birth story, but I have glimpses of her first days which I will always be grateful for. 

Happy 4 Months baby girl! What did we ever do without you?! (Well, maybe we sat:) 

Baby Dedication

Chloe's baby dedication this past Sunday was so special. It was a last minute decision to have her dedicated on Orphan Sunday by our wonderful friend Dustin Janney. Because we didn't give much notice I wasn't even sure my parents would be able to come, but they drove up Sunday morning to be with us.

 Our entire life group was there sitting in the front with us. They have all been a huge part if Chloe's adoption and were probably the first to know of our decision to adopt. We really began seeking God's will for us in the area of adoption during our 40 days in the Word bible study together so it was very special seeing the baby we had all prayed for be dedicated to The Lord. We promised to raise Chloe to love Jesus and in accordance to Deuteronomy 11:18-21.

 ¹⁸ Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ¹⁹ Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ²⁰ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, ²¹ so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Our pastor pointed out that Chloe hasn't just been adopted by us, but by God. It is crazy how much meaning that has once you have actually adopted a child. Chloe is not just our child, but a child of the King!! 

Last Orphan Sunday, our now daughter, sat in an orphanage alone on the other side of the world. Yesterday, she had pews filled with those who love her and pray for her faithfully. She is a daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, friend. Gosh, if you don't believe God can move mountains look at her! 

A little restless during the prayer

After church, we went to lunch at Red Lobster (picked by Gavin) with my parents and our friends, the Gillicks and then headed to Sea World.

Chloe was all tuckered out from her big day:)

Celebrating one less orphan!! (Could you just die over those shoes?!)

Happy National Adoption Month

I can think of no better way to celebrate adoption by dedicating our precious daughter to The Lord. So this Sunday, on Orphan Sunday, we will, in front of our church, vow to raise Chloe to love and serve The Lord. I get teary just thinking how God has orchestrated all of this and now on such a special Sunday we have the privilege to honor Him and declare Chloe as His. He promised, "I will not leave you as orphans I will come to you." He always keeps His promises. 

Adoption is redemption. Redemption is the heart of our Father in heaven. 

One year ago

One year ago our dossier was in China waiting on a log in date!! A huge international adoption milestone. This dawned on me as I sat in a show at Sea World on Saturday while our little girl was dancing, clapping, and acting as if this was a normal, everyday occurrence. It's crazy to think that as we celebrated Halloween last year we were five months away from seeing Chloe's face and today she celebrates with us. On the 15th of October last year I re-posted a post about waiting! Those months were grueling! Some of the most emotional months I have experienced. Today it's just joy...pure joy that this little girl that had her whole world rocked not even four months ago is bebopping with her brothers and friends at Sea World Spooktacular!

Dancing to the drums

Mommy look at the sharks!

More sharks

This time of year it's easy to reflect on how far we have come because we make some many memories. This year Chloe isn't a dream, but a reality, and a very important part of our memories. She got to experience her first fair and pumpkin patch this past weekend as well! 

Try as I might my boys do not love cute attire...and there is no posing for pics:( so we have Chloe dressed all cute and sitting on the hay for pics and well, the boys in some not matching clothes while I take their pics on the run! One day my dream of the three of them cuddling on the haystack surrounded by pumpkins smiling perfectly for a pic will come true!! 

Until then, I was able to capture this shot atleast during forced snuggling in their Halloween pjs:)

 

One year ago we were waiting...today we are thankful!

Well I wrote this whole post earlier today and just a short while later Chloe fell. One thing we have been avoiding for 6 intense weeks! We were all playing in her closet. I was within an inch of her she fell and hit her mouth and nose on a scooter. Blood was pouring and she was screaming and holding her mouth like I have never seen. I called the surgeon in a panic...he was in the operating room and nurse wasn't there. The secretary said she would try and reach him in the OR to see what I should do (reminder-he is in St. Pete and I am panicked in Orlando). While I wait I call our pediatrician. He tells me to go right to Nemours, our hospital here. While I dish out the boys to my wonderful friend, Courtney, the surgeon calls and says to email him pictures of her mouth and not to go to a hospital in Orlando if i can get the bleeding to stop. I am crying and shaking and so is Chloe but I manage a few pics as I am loading the car for a hospital yet to be determined. The surgeon mentions he wants me to come to All Children's...Lord help me!!! It would take me atleast 3 hours to get there in traffic. Within 30 minutes he calls back to say not to worry...she will be ok...I ask him if he is sure because the blood is coming from the inside of her mouth and I couldn't get a photo of that. He assures me it is ok and to come to his office in the morning. I tell him I need Xanax for a year after these last six weeks and this scare. He laughs! The end!! 

I am still thankful, really frazzled, but thankful!